Page 122: “My conclusions can be said to be scientifically correct. That is, the evidence” that leads to my conclusion is reproducible: Anyone can test it and get the same results. When any woman does as I have done, the blessings are incredible!... I know that the angels in heaven stand amazed at how much a man can love a woman, how he can break down weeping at the thought of how precious she is to him. The reason he loves her so is because she IS precious. She has earned his total admiration and love. She is what God asks of a woman, and the end result is a man who cherishes her beyond anything this world can know… If you want what I and thousands of women have, then you must follow the plan the way God wrote it in the Bible.”
Debi’s plan for a marriage made in heaven has a lot of the characteristics of a fad diet – including great short-term success (because what marriage wouldn’t be a lot less conflict-filled and “happy” if the woman started treating her husband like a king, served him tirelessly, never questioned any of his decisions, fulfilled his every whim, and gave him frequent, good sex?). However, it seems like this might get pretty boring in the long term, resulting in either “cheating” and a sense of failure, or monotonous emptiness. It is hard to imagine a man finding true, lasting, and deep satisfaction in a partner who is not finding herself in God, growing in His wisdom, and functioning in obedience to Him as the woman He created her to be.
This is not the way we want our marriage to be – one of us “manipulating” the other in order to earn his love and make things “heavenly” and “glorious”. How sad and pitiful is seems to me to think of my wife trying to find her identity and life’s meaning in me rather than in God.
It is a curious grace of God that the life he commands is not only pleasing to Himself but also the best possible life for us. He has every right to ask us to give up our joy for his sake, but he doesn’t. We break forth into joy only after picking up our cross. Any teaching that seems second-best has the ring of untruth. The Pearl’s picture of marriage seems neither glorious nor made in heaven. It seems to us thin, one-dimensional, lightweight, monochrome, and made for Wal-Mart.
I don’t want a wife made in my image; I want a wife made in the image of God. Keep me far from the purring, ego-stroking, yes-woman; give me the iron that sharpens iron. Give me the beauty that is true and lasting. I don’t want anyone to sing my praise; what a poor subject for song! Sing with me the glory of God. We will tell Him of His faithfulness to you and to me. Call no one rabbi, especially not me, for we are brethren. Come with me, my sister, my bride, to the feet of Christ. We will each, both of us, listen to Him and learn the truth. We will live in truth and the truth will set us free. I forgive you; please forgive me. Let us pray for our children and our home. Come, my sister, my bride, and we will don the armor of God together. With the breastplate of righteousness will I protect you, and with the shield of faith will you protect me. Who is the one who would excuse a violence against you? Come, we will skewer him with the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.