Point 5

Point 5: CTBHHM discourages women from spending time in prayer, Scripture study, or meditation on Scripture, hinting that a woman’s spiritual connection to God is primarily determined and built through her actions towards her husband. It asserts that that there is no woman in Scripture who is commended for doing “spiritual” things (i.e. praying, reading Scripture, etc.)

The following is a critique of the Scripture that Debi uses in chapter 11, “The Nature of Man and Woman”. In this chapter, she says that women are not meant to be “spiritual” and that women should not spend (and are not created to spend) a great deal of time in prayer, quiet time, Scripture study, or similar “spiritual” endeavors. Instead, a woman’s primary spirituality comes through serving her husband in practical ways. We agree that serving one’s husband can be a “spiritual” act, but we don’t believe this defines the sum total of a woman’s spirituality or relationship to God. In this section, we will quote Debi, then write how we think she is using the Bible in a manner that goes beyond its intended meaning.
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Page 105: “God created man with a nature that is aggressive, and then commanded him to exercise dominion over the earth (Gen. 1:28).”

The verse referenced is part of a command God gives to both men and women. It says nothing about God creating man with an aggressive nature.
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In pages 106-108, Debi imagines a lot of things about the Creation story that are found nowhere in the Bible. She delves deeply into Lucifer’s exact thoughts and knowledge. She asserts that because Satan was male himself, he knew the man could not be deceived, and so he waited until God created the weaker vessel, Eve, whom he knew could be deceived. There is nothing in Scripture to suggest that Satan knew the thoughts, strengths, and weaknesses of Adam and Eve, or that he knew in advance that God was going to create a “weaker vessel” after Adam. Debi goes into great detail about the nature of Adam, Eve, and Satan, even when there is no Biblical evidence for this. In fact, in these 2 ½ pages, she provides just four references, none of which support the bulk of her assertions without a great deal of imagination and stretching.
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On page 109, Debi holds up Miriam as an example of a woman whose false leadership proves women should not try to be spiritual. “Her desire to be on an equal footing with Moses has left her name in infamy, for our admonition (1 Cor. 10:6,10).” The two verses referenced have nothing to do with Miriam – they have to do with the Israelites being punished because they set their hearts on evil things and grumbled. The actual Scriptural story (in Numbers 12, which Debi never references) shows that both Aaron and Miriam criticized Moses and challenged his authority and were equally at fault. In fact, Aaron’s leadership (i.e. golden calf) carries a lot more infamy than Miriam’s. This story does nothing to advance Debi’s point that women most often have a false spirituality, any more than Aaron’s bad leadership in the Bible says anything about men’s ability to lead well. The leadership of both Aaron and Miriam is given legitimacy by God in Micah 6:4. (We are not saying women should lead; we are merely pointing out that Debi uses Scripture badly.)
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Page 110: “When Jesus spoke a parable about the kingdom becoming corrupted with false doctrine, he illustrated it with a woman bringing in the corruption (Matt. 3:33).”

Here is the verse from Matthew 13:33: “He told them another parable: ‘The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” Not only is the yeast in this parable a good thing (not corruption), but the fact that Jesus said a woman mixed it in simply means that women kneaded bread in his culture and has nothing to say about the spirituality of women.
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Page 110 & 112: “In the book of Revelation, it is a woman, typically called Jezebel, who deceives the church. We are told that she did it through her teaching.…. The ‘last days’ profile of Christian women is that of the religious prophetess, Jezebel… Revelation 2:20 says that Jezebel ‘calleth herself a prophetess’ and men received her as a teacher, showing that she was part of structured Christianity, ‘ministering’ to the saints. Jesus warned the Church against the teaching woman, Jezebel. Any woman who defies the scripture’s prohibition against women teachers in the Church is following in the grave tradition of Jezebel.”

The woman Jezebel, mentioned in Revelation, was a false teacher, leading others to commit sexual immorality (sometimes with her, it appears) and eat food sacrificed to idols. The problem in this passage is clearly centered on what Jezebel was teaching the church to do, rather than on the fact that a woman was teaching. This passage, in itself, says absolutely nothing about the spirituality of women as a whole, just as passages about male false teachers (and there are many) say nothing about the spirituality or teaching ability of men as a whole. It also says nothing about women in the last days. Again, we are not supporting women teaching, we are simply concerned about the poor use of scripture.
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Page 110: “Women are either directly or indirectly responsible for most of the past and present cults in Christianity.”

What? Most, if not all, major cults were started by men. What evidence do we have that women were responsible? Of course women were indirectly irresponsible, since all men, including false prophets, have some female influence on their lives. This is not even close to being Scriptural proof for her point.
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Page 111: “Adam, the first man, Samson, the strongest man, Solomon, the wisest man, and even David, the man listed as being after God’s own heart, were all brought down by the women they loved.”

God didn’t seem to think so – He made it clear in the Bible that each one of these men were brought down by their own sinful choices. Their sins were on their own heads. We addressed this teaching at greater length under Point 3.
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Page 111: “God gave us a careful and stern warning as to what women would become in the last days. The prophetic picture of this woman is now in full array. It is the spiritual Jezebel, who is the exact opposite of a help meet, that is the death knell of the most noble institution on the earth – the family.”

What in the world does this mean? There are no Scriptural references at all. This is followed immediately with a portrayal of the Jezebels of Revelation 2 and 1 Kings, which have nothing to do with what women would become in the last days.
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“The Jezebel Profile”, on page 112-113, meant to prove that women should not attempt to be spiritual, is profoundly mixed up. Debi points out that Jezebel was more spiritual and religiously devoted than her husband, and also suggests that Ahab’s emotional volatility and depression (keeping his face turned to the wall) were because of his controlling wife. 1 Kings points out that Ahab was already wicked (following in the sins of Jeroboam) before he married Jezebel – marrying her and beginning to worship Baal only compounded his wickedness. He “turned his face to the wall” because he couldn’t get the vineyard he wanted, not because his wife was directing the family. Most importantly, Jezebel was spiritual, yes – but she was zealously worshipping Baal! To draw a parallel between Jezebel, Baal worshipper, and women who truly try to listen to and follow the one true God of heaven and earth is pretty weak.
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Debi follows this “Jezebel Profile” with Scriptural profiles of two “ideal women” who honored him: Ruth and Esther. She concludes with: “God has laid down only a few simple rules for women to follow, because they are consistent with our feminine nature and the nature of men” (page 114). Are women not meant to follow the same commands and rules in Scripture that God gave men? Debi gives no Scriptural back-up for this statement.
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Debi moves on to the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31:

“If this passage in Proverbs had been written from our modern perspective, it would have extolled her for having a ‘quiet time’ and being a ‘prayer warrior,’ teacher, or counselor. In all Scriptural profiles of righteous women, including Proverbs 31, no such concepts are ever mentioned. In our culture, we have lost a clear understanding of what constitutes a virtuous woman… What we label spiritual, God labels ‘Jezebel.’ “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD” (Isaiah 55:8). A woman working beside her man is a spiritual force for them both. A woman providing good sex and fun company is offering her husband a spiritual benefit.” (pages 114-115)

Debi leaves out the many times in Scripture where a woman’s spiritual connection to God is pointed out. Even in the Old Testament, where the main connection to God was through the temple (which was primarily a place for men), there are examples. Esther spent 3 days in prayer and fasting before she approached the king, and called all the other Jews to join her. Hannah prayed fervently for a child, and was commended by Eli. Miriam and Deborah (one a prophetess and the other a judge) both sang public songs to God that are recorded in Scripture. Anna, a prophetess, worshipped in the temple night and day, praying and fasting. When Jesus came, he encouraged women to approach him directly. He told Mary of Bethany she had chosen the right thing when she sat at his feet and listened to him. There were many women in the early church whose contribution included more than having sex with their husbands. Paul commends Euodia and Syntyche for contending at his side in the cause of the gospel (Phil. 4:3). Priscilla and Aquila taught Apollos, according to Acts. The personal greetings at the end of Paul’s books (for example, Romans 16) are full of the names of women who helped build the early church; most are mentioned as individuals. On her website, Debi says that mothers should never even do devotions with their children, even if the father is not a Christian (teaching Bible stories “on the fly” is okay, but not formal devotions). This is very unlike Timothy’s mother and grandmother, who were commended by Paul for passing down their faith to Timothy (2 Timothy 1:5; the fact that Timothy’s father was not mentioned means that he was probably not a Christian).
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The final section of this chapter, called “Time to Consider”, contains this quote:

Page 116: “The very first command God ever gave to the woman was, “Thy desire shall be to they husband and he shall rule over thee” (Gen. 3:16). Is your desire toward your husband? Do you live to please him?”

As we have stated in a previous section, God’s first command to both women and men is in Genesis 1; it is his mandate to be fruitful and multiply, and to rule His creation. The verse quoted here was not a command; it was the curse!

In conclusion, we believe that both men and women have a direct relationship to God through Jesus, and are meant to cultivate and deepen it through prayer, meditation, Scripture reading, and Scripture memorization.